Dec 09 2008
Who Watches?
That is the eternal question, I suppose. Who cares enough to dedicate their sight to the world. I’ll tell you who. Watchmen. That’s who. Ever since it was suggested to me by my trusted idiosyncratic friend who exposes me to all sorts of foreign films and what not, I’ve been morbidly fascinated by it. More specifically, I’ve viewed it’s metaphoric overlapping of narratives and stark, candid characters among the best in all of literature. The brilliance of Allen Moore as a writer makes me and all the hopelessly variegated scribblings seem like kindergarten explications about how brown mud is. That might actually make a good premise for a poem.
Sorry, I’m getting a bit off topic. My point is that “Watchmen” is great. So great that when I heard it was going to be made into a movie I peed myself. Lucky for me I was on the can at the time, so there was no damage done for my friends to ridicule me for, but never the less, involuntary pizzle is what I experienced in my excitement. Of course, after I heard that it was Zack Snyder (most recently noted for that slow motion shirtless excuse for a dramatic action film “300″) who was directing Moore’s opus, my pissing excitement dropped down a little. I figured that he couldn’t cock it up too much though. Watchmen is written and animated so well as a comic, you don’t even need a storyboard; it is a storyboard. All that’s needed is a couple of competent actors and the ability to read and translate what Moore already laid down to the silver screen. There is one thing I forgot about Hollywood and that is that it is a bunch of uninspired pillocks that turn everything they touch into shit or, rather, apple sauce. I say this because, hearing that Snyder was going to change a few set pieces in an already perfect narrative, I came up with this interesting little adage.
When life gives you lemons, don’t make apple sauce.
It doesn’t really matter how much Snyder screws this story up in his tired, action packed, Hollywood iteration of a classic piece of literature. I’m still going to go see it on the first day, as should you. It might not be as good as the comic, but it’s still going to be Watchmen.
